I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
He has the fingertips of a God
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
