I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
