just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I intend to get homeless drunk
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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