Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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