i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
