My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
She even gives head with a lisp.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
