Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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