She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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