I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I forget how to act sober
Randomize