just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
