I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
