no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
