her vagine was all disorganized.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
So squirting runs in the family.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
