thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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