i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Randomize
