I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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