I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
His hands were made for my vagina.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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