Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
is it fun? or sober?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
