I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
