just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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