also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
