in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
