Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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