nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
