Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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