1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
