remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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