she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
