We're like a lot better than the average bears
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
