She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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