thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
