They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
