whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
