If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize