He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.