He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married