Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
