my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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