singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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