He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
