Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
