I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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