im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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