Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
