I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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