he puts the penis in happiness.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
