Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
