D3 body, D1 cock
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
