i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
