cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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