I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
