lets start a swedish sibling band together
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
