I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
