i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
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